I am a master planner, I have a history of making comprehensive, practical, well-thought-out action plans. But I also have a history of encountering a feeling of familiarity at the beginning of each year, as I sit to set goals for myself and plan my year.
Have you ever felt like years are passing by but you seem to be at the same place where you were the year before?
I know that feeling a little too well because I have been where you are for 26 years now. It was only this year that I decided to get to the root of why I didn’t feel like I was experiencing the kind of growth I wanted and how can I create an environment for growth.
In this blog post, we are going to discuss who you need to BE and what you need to DO to hold space for your goals and turn your dreams into reality, through some powerful questions that you can ask yourself to gain clarity around these foundational questions.
Word of the Year
Several dictionaries come up with a word of the year, which is selected based on several pre-decided criteria by the respective dictionary, and usually reflects a word that was popular or socially relevant for the year.
However, what I am talking about is choosing a word of the year which helps serve you by guiding you toward your goals and dreams.
The surface-level answer to the why was that I was not putting these well-thought-out action plans into action, but the bigger problem was that whenever an obstacle came up (which I hate to break it to you will come up, growth is an uncomfortable journey, the graph is not always linear), I had a freeze response and spiralled into the abyss of my own thoughts which then resulted in complete inaction. I realised that I had to find a way to get out of my head and get into action, to get out of that uncomfortable space and move closer to my goals.
I asked myself, who do I need to BE to achieve the goals that I set, to move me closer toward my dream?
So I set an intention for this year- to BE comfortable being uncomfortable. They’re just words, but words hold immense power. Say the words you want to believe to be true to yourself enough times, and you will start believing them. That is the power of affirmations. Or simply put, fake it till you make it.
Then I asked myself what do I need to DO to achieve the goals that I set to move me closer toward my dream?
And that’s how I came to choose a word of the year for myself – ACTION!
Up until this point this year, there have been so many instances of circumstances throwing me off my path, moments of doubt, and spiralling. And while I have allowed myself to feel those paralyzing emotions, what has got me out is my reminder to take action. It has literally snapped me out of inaction which I now know was the result of the freeze response my body and mind experienced because I was required me to step outside my comfort zone.
Not letting my mind give me excellent reasons and explanations for staying where I am at, and almost mindlessly simply taking that first step and then another, helped me snap out of inaction and the pool of debilitating emotions surrounding it. Trust me, I know it’s not easy. It is work, that needs to be done every single day, the work of reminding ourselves to focus on the now.
Ask yourself, what action can I take right now to move me just one step closer to my goal? Because that is the only thing you have control over. Your immediate next step, in the present moment.
The Power of Why
Another important realisation I had was that maybe the reason I felt like I was floating through my life was that I was not clear on the why of why I wanted to achieve that goal or dream. I kid you not, as cliche as it sounds, there is so much power in getting clarity around your why. There is so much power in getting clarity. Period.
Why do you want what you want?
Ask yourself that question again, and again, and again till you get to the root why, not just the surface why.
Your north star is going to be the why you want what you want. It serves as a reminder when you feel lost, when you steer off the path, and in your moments of doubt.
Celebrating the ‘little’ wins
Now onto the often neglected component of getting from inaction to action- rewards! It is so important to acknowledge and reward yourself for your accomplishments. Not just the big picture wins, but all the small wins along the way. It can be something as small as gifting yourself a cup of coffee from your favourite coffee place, planning a fun date with yourself or someone else, buying that art supply you had been eyeing for a while, pampering yourself with a full body massage, or as grand as taking a vacation. Don’t downplay your wins. Get creative and treat yourself however feels right to you.
All that being said, remember that goals are just milestones that help chart a practical actionable path to your dreams. Give yourself the grace to be okay with not achieving them in the timeline you set for them. Remember, the only thing you can control is your actions, and who you are being while taking those actions, so don’t beat yourself up when circumstances beyond your control effect your plans. You are the creator of your goals and your life, so you have the power to change course when you see fit.
To sum it all up, intentions are about being and goals are about doing. And it is important to have clarity about both these aspects when we are thinking about how to achieve our dreams and steer from inaction toward action.